</3 to <3 to </3
how dare you.
last night at prom was amazing. it was the best night of my life. you said you wouldn’t dance, but we did. a lot. i made you. you offered to get me food and drinks. we had a pinch war. we talked all night. we held hands. you hugged me. we were silly. and at the end when i told you we didn’t slow dance, you made somebody put on a slow song in the parking lot and asked me to. you told me to say goodbye before i left. when i did you told me to text you later, because you were staying to clean up. i was so happy. everyone asked me if we were back together. my hopes were up so high, i was giddy with anticipation. i thought you had changed. i thought this time you were for real. that we were about to get back together.
boy was i wrong …
i texted you. i told you tonight was fun. your reply? “see i’m a man of my word, i promised i would take you and i did.” that hurt. you kept on being an asshole to me. when i asked you what your problem was, you told me that you were just tired. no, we used to text until one of us fell asleep. it was something else. then i said goodnight and you night and i said “talk to you tomorrow?:)” and you said “k bye.”
so i guess now that you don’t owe me anything, i don’t exist anymore.
how did we go from being so close to being absolute strangers?
you told me stories never really have “happy endings.” that everything has a downfall, and that nothing is ever a “happy ending.”
true love lasts forever, even if you say that is impossible. true loves leaves impact. you say no, but guess what?
i’m determined to absolutely change your mind, dear. <3
i love you, even if you don’t have much time left with me. you’re the one person i could talk to for hours, and i know you would do anything for me. i trusted you with everything. i remember the times when i was little with you. we would walk to the park and to the little zoo. go fishing. play barbies and cars. sing karaoke. every christmas and thanksgiving. all the home videos. last night i prayed to God and told Him to take good care of you when you go home. this is our last christmas together, and i plan to make it the best one ever. you told me i was the one you’d never have to worry about, the most beautiful one of the bunch. i’d go places. i was your favorite grankid. if i ever needed you to look into the night sky, and that star was you. i don’t want you go to, but dying is apart of life. just know that i love you. it’s crazy though, a month ago you were so well. now cancer’s gotten to you. granny, i love you. and when you go, i’ll see you again one day. <3
have you ever been scared? like…. scared of being hurt again? knowing that you love that person with every little piece you have but don’t ever want to be hurt again, when you see him like another girl’s picture or when he’s online and won’t make an effort to talk to you… scared he is not in love with you the way you are him? scared all his promises are fake, he only wants you for one reason. scared if he is gone, you’ll have nothing left, because you know that he knows how to put a smile on your face better than anybody else, but can take that away better than anybody else too. that sometimes you’re so afraid you cry… but of course you could never admit anything to him out of fear of rejection. how you type it on chat but then erase it as quickly as possible. you want to start the conversation, but afraid that you might bother him. if you don’t, he might think you don’t love him. but no matter how much you would tell him that, afraid he won’t believe you. scared that he’ll find somebody else in a blink of an eye…. scared that you aren’t good enough.
i hate you. you’re supposed to be my “best friend.” the one who picks me up when i’m down. the one who is always there for me, easing my pain. when you took all of our friends, told them lies about me and made them hate me, i had to sit by myself at lunch. the popular girls invited me to sit with them, i didn’t “abandon” you guys, you “abandoned” me. they told me i was always welcome at their table. and you know what? i’m going to start sitting there. you are supposed to help me in my time of need, not cause the pain over and over again. so go ahead spread more rumors. i deleted you from facebook. you aren’t going to get to me anymore.